Knotting fleeting romance, women focus primarily on the physical attractiveness of men. But when it comes to long-term relationships, kindness and responsiveness of the partner is more important for its attractiveness and status.
Do you think that good (or, alternatively: cute, nice guy – is that a compliment? Or is this a polite formula behind which offensive “nothing special”?
Actually, women usually say they would gladly met with the good guys. But for some reason in movies, books and commercials we see other stories: there success with women are not “good” and “cute”, but on the contrary, decisive and self-assured (that is, steep) – and it’s often not “good” men. She seems to have no problems, how to have an affair with a woman! Strictly speaking, movies, books and advertising is not lying in the sense that they adequately reflect the entrenched opinion: women prefer macho in a most sweet and lovable men.
But if this is the case in real life?
For a night or forever?
“The nice guy phenomenon” have long been interested in Western researchers who have accumulated on this interesting data. (Just stipulate that under the good guy in this case means those who tend kindness, responsibility, conflictnet, the sympathy, care about other people.)
American psychologists Joffrey Urbaniak and Peter Kellman did an experiment*. They created on a Dating site three fictional profile of young people to identify themselves as a “nice guy”, “neutral guy” and “tough guy”. In each profile were given arguments on the topic, who is a “real man”. Nice guy “described” it as kind, considerate, aware of their feelings, “non-macho”, for which in the first place – the pleasure of the female partner rather than his own. “Neutral” – as a man who knows what he wants and knows how to achieve that nice to his beloved woman. Finally, according to a tough guy, a real man knows what he wants, knows how to do it, keeps everyone in his fist and doesn’t like sissy. Then 200 students participating in the experiment were asked to evaluate all three profiles and choose someone they would go on a date. The results surprised the researchers: “nice” guy was chosen twice as often as “neutral”, and 8 times more often than “cool”. Moreover, these preferences did not depend on visual appeal young people.
Estimated girls, the “nice” guy was more promising as a potential suitor, permanent boyfriend or Platonic friend. But not really suitable as a partner for a fleeting connection.
American psychologists Norman Lee and Douglas Kenrick** have come to similar conclusions: knotting fleeting romance, women come primarily from the attractiveness of the partner. But when it comes to long-term relationships, kindness and responsiveness of the partner is more important for its attractiveness and status.
To be good isn’t everything…
The findings of scientists – this is good news for good men. However, the chances of success with women they more if in addition to kindness, friendliness and altruism they have dominance! In this scenario, they are rendered women more attractive physically and sexually. But the mere dominance by itself does not increase the attractiveness of men in the eyes of women, as shown by the study of American psychologists Laura Jensen-Campbell, William Graziano and Stephen West***.
In addition, Urbaniak and Kilman note that women still expect a “good guy” some additional bonuses. For example, ideally it should be able to share Hobbies and interests. Or to be a bright personality, able to capture partner in the world of their interests. Because, ironically notice Urbaniak and Kilman, no good guy would not be attractive if along the way it turns out he’s a boring guy.